


Harry S. Truman: Ex-Sheriff & Professional Caregiver

by kamidog, trufield



Series: Harry S. Truman: One Man Animal Rescue [24]
Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: M/M, Sickfic, blowjob, eventually, handjob, of non-serious illness, the cute sweet kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-01 21:41:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12713484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamidog/pseuds/kamidog, https://archiveofourown.org/users/trufield/pseuds/trufield
Summary: Harry convinces Albert to go to the sanctuary with him. Things don't go as smoothly as intended.Art in end notes fromkami





	1. Show & Tell - Furry Friends Edition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realised I lumbered myself with a series title that was becoming largely irrelevant. Here are some animals. 
> 
> [9-11 September, 1 November 1997]

The first night they had a dog in their home, Harry awoke to Noodle’s soft whimpers in the early hours of the morning. Ears attuned to the sounds of suffering (which was fortunate or unfortunate depending on how you looked at it) he successfully untangled himself and crept out of bed without disturbing Albert. At least he thought he had. 

“He's not coming in here,” Albert mumbled into the pillow. 

“I know,” Harry whispered even though everyone was awake. 

He opened the door and crouched down to dog-level to stop Noodle from barking by giving him immediate attention. Whines now excited, Noodle reached up as high as he could to lick Harry's chin. Harry chuckled softly and took him in his arms, carrying him to the couch. He laid on his back, dog on his chest, and had a hushed, one-sided conversation. 

\-----

“Harry.”

He awoke to Albert nudging him, sounding decidedly unimpressed. Harry grunted as he attempted to get up. 

“You're too old to be sleeping on couches.”

Harry shot him an equally unimpressed glare. 

“I'm not _calling_ you old Harry. It's just a fact that your body is going to lock up.”

“Albert's being mean,” Harry told Noodle. “Maybe we could go for your morning walk.”

Albert groaned, exasperated, and Harry laughed. 

“But I suppose we should have breakfast first.”

“Of course, you'd only spend time with me over the dog if there's the prospect of food.”

“No way,” Harry said, removing Noodle from his lap. He stood, looped his arms around Albert's neck and kissed his cheek. 

Albert's expression didn't change but his hand found its way into Harry's hair and that was enough of a tell. Harry laughed again. 

\-----

That night was a repeat of the previous. Albert woke him, annoyed, in the morning. 

“You _cannot_ do this every night. If you never leave him he'll end up getting separation anxiety.”

“I know…” Harry said. 

It was difficult. He thought of Noodle alone in the rain in a dark alley when he heard his whimpers. He looked so happy when Harry was with him, tail wagging so fiercely he was in danger of toppling over. 

Despite Albert attempting to keep his distance, Noodle loved him just as much. When he returned from work Noodle was at the door before it opened and jumped up at him when he entered. Albert complained about dog hair and paw prints on his suit as he pushed him away with his foot. Harry smiled and hoped it would become a new routine. 

That night the whines came through the door again and Albert shoved Harry back down onto the mattress when he moved. He got up instead and Harry heard Noodle’s excited yapping as the door opened. Albert left the room as the dog ran in. Harry saw a nose peek over the edge of the bed. Albert returned, dumping the dog bed on the floor, picking up the required dog and depositing him into it. 

“Now fuckin’ sleep,” he muttered. 

Albert climbed back into bed and wiped the dog slobber from his hand onto Harry's arm. He sighed and turned away. Harry wrapped an arm around him and smiled against his shoulder. 

“That goes for you too Truman.”

\-----

By the end of the month Harry started work at the sanctuary, Noodle in tow. They were back before Albert most days, as promised. Noodle could detect his arrival quicker than Harry could. They would both look towards the door in anticipation before Noodle bumbled away to greet him. Albert's routine of coming home had streamlined into catching Noodle mid-jump, tucking him under his arm and continuing without breaking his stride. Harry would receive a dog in his arms and a kiss on his head and Albert would be granted two equally stupid faces looking at him. 

As the weather got colder Harry's job became more demanding. There was an increase in strays and wildlife requiring assistance. Not that he minded, he enjoyed it well enough. 

“Albert you _have_ to come with me tomorrow to see something.”

“That's vague.”

“It's worth it,” Harry grinned. 

It wasn't unusual for Harry to gush about a new arrival - in fact it was regular conversation. If Albert took notes of Harry's updates he'd have a extensive record of the history of every animal at the sanctuary. It was a good job he didn't, Harry had already made a small library of animal care and veterinary practice, they wouldn't have the space. Harry had never asked Albert to visit him at work. That intrigued him enough to agree. 

Despite Harry's knowledge and experience, he wasn't a trained vet. Often he would seek Albert's medical opinion on difficult cases (who responded with “I'm a doctor Harry, not a veterinarian” but helped regardless). Harry asked his opinion on different analgesics, the best method of securing and protecting miniature splints, how long he thought it would take muscle mass to develop. Of course the sanctuary _did_ have regular veterinary counsel but Harry trusted Albert's opinion and knew he was flattered that Harry still sought his professional expertise. 

Albert did have to convince him to take it easy. It was a voluntary position after all and if he needed to take a day or two he could. Albert had assured him that despite how quickly he seemed to become ‘indispensable’ to the place, they had survived well enough before he came along. In the beginning Harry had thrown himself into it completely, determined to make himself better, to focus his mind. He could see Albert identified the strategy for what it was, and Harry knew it wasn't the best idea in the long term, but Albert didn't comment for the first week or so. 

When they did talk about it Albert relayed his concerns. He knew Harry developed his coping mechanisms because they worked and it would be patronising for Albert to tell him he knew better, but he thought it was important they should discuss it. Identify his limits. Harry heeded his advice but admitted it was difficult for him to realise when he was at risk of burning out. Albert said that he could help there if Harry did his best to listen to him when those moments came. Harry vowed to try his best and told Albert it would be easier for him to cope than any other time in his life. Albert held him tight and Harry responded in kind. 

\-----

“Is it really necessary for us to be so early?” Albert complained. “Are you concerned about me meeting your colleagues?”

“Of course not!” Harry said, offended that Albert would think such a thing. “She's being transferred today. I want time to see her before she goes.”

They left Noodle in a kennel with one of his dog friends en route to their destination. Albert followed on Harry's heels, suit unprotected, which was surprising. Perhaps he thought it would deter Harry from shoving armfuls of small furry mammals at him. Harry smiled to himself. That would be unlikely. 

“Here!” Harry said, entering a room and gesturing inside. 

“An otter?” 

“A _sea_ otter Albert!” Harry enthused. “Isn't it adorable?”

It had destroyed everything it could access, mainly bedding and blankets. The pungent odour of fish clung to the air. 

“Among many other less savoury things,” Albert said. 

“So you do agree it's adorable!” 

Albert looked up from the small critter to Harry who grinned as though Albert's support of his statement regarding the cuteness of small mammals was the highlight of his week, even surpassing the arrival of the otter itself. 

“There _is_ a certain air of… adorableness about the room.” 

Harry shifted his million watt grin slightly to the left, becoming sly. 

“Are you calling _me_ adorable, Albert?” The lowered pitch of his voice and the glint in his eyes made Albert shudder minutely. 

“Harry, you're wearing green coveralls covered in about a metric ton of animal fur, you smell of cat food and your hair looks like it's housing a family of shrews, what could _possibly_ be adorable about that?” 

Albert had to avert his eyes, lest his deliverance be betrayed by the smile threatening to show itself. It didn't work. 

Harry crossed his arms and propped himself against the side of the otter enclosure, his hips tilted just so. The grin a permanent fixture now. 

“Shrews, yeah? That’s specific. Why not mice?”

“Because, Harry, as you told me, this flea circus took in a bunch of shrews a week ago. Easily possible for one of them to escape and start a new life in your hair.”

“So you _do_ listen when i talk about my job.”

“Of _course_ I do. I _always_ listen. So, have at it Dr. Doolittle, tell me everything there is to know about our odorous little friend here,” Albert gestured grandly in the otter’s general direction. 

“Well, first of all, she doesn't have a name yet…” Harry's smile took on a decidedly devilish slant once more. 

“Harry, don't you dare.”

“But don't worry. Even though I do think you also have a certain... _air of adorableness_ about you-”

Years ago Albert would have bristled at such a comment, but being in a relationship with Harry had taught him to take them in stride. He just rolled his eyes. 

“The name will be chosen entirely democratically. So far suggestions have ranged from ‘Emmett’ to ‘McOtterface’.”

Albert eyed the otter critically. It went on languishing in the destroyed contents of its enclosure, unperturbed. 

“So you're asking me for my input on what name you should support?” 

Harry shook his head: “No. I’ve already cast my lot.” 

Their eyes met. Harry’s grin threatened to split his face in two and Albert narrowed his eyes. 

“Don't tell me you voted for ‘McOtterface’.” 

Harry laughed.

“I hope you get outvoted. For her sake.”

Harry donned a pair of heavy duty gloves and reached into the enclosure to pick the otter up. It cried out and wriggled in his grasp. 

“Is that such a good idea?”

“She settles down well enough once you have her. I need to check her over.”

Harry began his inspection, nose to tail, before deeming her healthy and placing her on the table, one hand holding her in place. He picked up a brush and started grooming her fur despite the whingeing and writhing. 

“I don't think it's a good idea…”

“She hasn't been in the water. We've gotta make sure she's still waterproof.”

Albert didn't look convinced. Harry held the otter up to Albert for him to approve of his handiwork. Albert made a gesture for Harry to quit it but the otter launched itself from Harry's grip and bit down on the edge of Albert's hand. 

“ _Fuck_!” 

Harry, horrified, secured his hold again. 

“Get it _off_.”

“I don't want to pull incase she doesn't let go…”

Harry had visions of half of Albert’s hand remaining in the otter’s furry maw and spending the rest of the morning scrubbing his blood off the floor. 

Thankfully Harry was able to prize her jaws open for Albert to retrieve his hand largely intact. Harry shut the otter back up inside the enclosure, softly chastising her and Albert inspected the damage. Harry returned to him, gloves off, and turned the hand in his own. Two relatively neat holes in the back of his hand and a matching set at the edge of his palm. He directed Albert to the sink to wash it out before Harry went to fetch a first aid kit. 

He returned as fast as he could, gauze soaked in saline to dab at the wound. He progressed onto some more dry gauze, pressing it firmly over the edge of Albert's hand the stem the bleeding. Albert hissed through his teeth. 

“Hold it,” Harry instructed as he unwound the bandage to hold it in place. 

He wrapped Albert's hand and secured the bandage. Albert surveyed his work. 

“Pretty good.”

“I'm real sorry Albert. I didn't expect her to jump like that.”

“I'd be more concerned if you _had_ expected it. I suppose it's fortunate, in all this time, that none of your furry friends have attacked me. I was probably lucky to get away without incident for this long.”

Harry sighed. It was unlikely Albert would return after this, although Harry suspected he wasn't particularly interested in the animals anyway. 

“C’mon, let's go home.”

“Home? Harry we've only just got here, don't be dramatic, I'm not about to keel over. Carry on as you intended, just don't make me touch anything to get this wound infected.”

“Are you sure?” Harry asked, still uncertain and Albert rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright. Follow me then.”

Harry took one last look at McOtterface, blood on her chin, and frowned. 

Harry showed Albert all of the other animals he cared for (remaining at a safe distance). Nothing as interesting as an otter but each and every one was special to Harry: the dog that came in last week with a missing leg, the cat with the patch in the shape of a heart on its hip, the angry raccoon that seemed to only be placated by tortilla chips and many more besides. Albert was surprised he hadn't smuggled any of ‘these sob stories’ home. Harry joked that maybe he had and Albert hadn't noticed yet. Albert looked genuinely concerned and Harry expected him to look through all the cupboards later just to make sure. 

They met Katie on their way through. She took one look at Albert before her gaze flicked to Harry, bright with worry. 

“Are you… from the wildlife agency? To oversee the transfer? I thought we had this checked out and finalised yesterday - is there a problem? Or is this a general inspection?”

Then she noticed the bloody bandage on Albert's hand and the colour drained from her face. Harry smiled to reassure her but she wasn't looking at him. He put his hand on Albert's shoulder to demonstrate that they were friendly and everything was on good terms. 

“Katie this is Albert. There's no need to worry - he's just visiting. We had a small incident earlier but it was just an accident.”

“I could still sue you for lack of safety procedures. I didn't even fill in an accident form…” Albert said, just to antagonise her. 

“ _Albert._ He's just joking. He's like that. He doesn't mean it.”

Albert looked at him, eyebrow raised, and Katie glanced between them. She seemed to relax and smiled at Harry. 

“Well don't hang around too long - you did tell me you have today off.”

“I was seeing McOtterface before she goes.”

“I think you mean Emmett.”

“I think you mean bloodthirsty lutrine,” Albert chimed in. 

Harry smiled and shook his head in fond exasperation. Katie bid them farewell. 

“It was good to meet you Albert. You make a cute couple,” she winked at Harry and turned swiftly on her heel as Harry stammered. 

He glanced to Albert who laughed. 

“I like her.”

Once they were back home and the day passed into the next, Albert went to work and the regular routine fell back into place. With both of their working lives demanding their attention, and the relief at reuniting in their peaceful abode after, Albert's injury was pushed to the back of their minds. Almost forgotten. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [weaponised small aquatic mammal](https://trufield.tumblr.com/post/168730030857/enbyartblog-weaponized-small-aquatic-mammals)


	2. Lessons From Dr. Rosenfield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [7, 13 November 1997]

“Albert! It's infected?” Harry asked, gingerly turning Albert's hand. Small lumps akin to insect bites had formed near the site of the otter wound from the previous week. Albert sighed. 

“Cat scratch disease.”

“ _Disease_? I thought it was ‘cat scratch fever’?” Harry, in a state of anxiety, looked as if Albert had given himself a terminal diagnosis. Albert sighed and looked at him fondly. Maybe it was really serious. In other circumstances such commentary would have resulted in playful ribbing, not that Harry wanted to achieve that response - he was genuinely concerned. 

“Fever is one of the main symptoms, hence the more popular common name for it.” 

“But it wasn't a cat!” Harry protested as if ‘logic’ could change what he was seeing.

“The bacteria is carried by fleas Harry, numerous species can transmit it to humans. Cats are just the most likely.”

“What do we do?”, Harry asked, still not entirely convinced Albert wasn't about to drop dead on the spot. 

“Wait it out. I'm unlikely to suffer any complications. It should pass.”

“But what about the fever?”

“I'll deal with that when it happens.”

Harry managed to still look sufficiently guilty and unhappy to prompt Albert to add: “Harry, once the fever hits, if it does come at all that is, you can utilize all your years of experience in being a mother hen and attone for your terrible sin of weaponizing small aquatic mammals against your quasi-husband.”

A small smile stole itself on Harry's face. 

“Quasi-husband?”

“For lack of a better word. Or would you disagree?” 

“No. No, not at all.” The smile grew into one that somehow managed to be both hopeful and chagrined. “So you'll let me take care of you, when you get sick?”

“If I get sick. If. There's a big chance it'll just pass without any symptoms, seeing as how I'm neither a child nor otherwise weakened.”

“But then…?”

“Yes, in the unlikely event of me developing symptoms, I now solemnly swear, I will let you fuss all you want.” 

“And no complaining?” 

Albert crossed his arms and sighed. “No more complaining than is absolutely necessary.” 

Mollified, Harry wrapped his arms around Albert and kissed him. 

“Alright.” 

\-----

Another week later and Albert did start showing symptoms. As much as he tried to hide it, Harry could tell. He had left him alone for a few days but now the fever had broken out and become more aggressive. 

“You're not going to work,” Harry headed off the issue immediately. “Not until it’s gone.”

“That could be weeks.”, Albert protested weakly. 

“More if you exhaust yourself. I'll call Gordon myself, I'm sure he'll agree.”

“You _wouldn't_ ,” Albert took one look at Harry and seemed to judge that he absolutely _would_. “Fine.”

Harry put the back of his hand against Albert's forehead, who rolled his eyes. 

“You are hot.”

“Thanks,” the smarmy grin fell somewhat short thanks to the bloodshot eyes and slightly flushed face. 

“C’mon I'm serious,” Harry said even as a smile played at his lips. 

“I can just _tell_ you my symptoms - there's no need for you to employ rudimentary measures of good health.”

“Maybe I want to,” Harry said as he put his fingers against the pulse of Albert's wrist. “Remember your promise.” 

“What's your verdict Dr. Doolittle?” Albert asked as Harry put his ear against his chest. “Given your recent work experiences I'm not trusting you with the use of a thermometer.”

“Bed rest, immediately.”

Albert allowed himself to be coaxed into the bedroom. Harry moved the covers aside as Albert got into bed and tucked him in. Albert glared. 

“I'm not an invalid Harry.”

Unaffected, Harry raised a single eyebrow. 

“Alright, alright. Whatever the doctor orders.” 

Harry kissed his temple, skin hot against his lips. 

“Do you think you can eat something? ‘Feed a cold, starve a fever’ my mother used to say but I don't know how true that is.”

“I need to consume something for my body to have the energy to fight it off.”

“Okay,” Harry passed the phone to him. “Call Gordon and I'll make you breakfast.”

Harry busied himself in the kitchen making porridge, which was precisely the type of wholesome food to encourage good health, especially on cold days. He added the tiniest amount of syrup (sugar was the best kind of medicine, although Albert would surely contest this belief) and left it to cool slightly as he cleaned up. Of course they had both been sick in their years together but Albert had never caught anything that struck him down for more than a few days. This was new territory for them and, despite Harry's concerns, he found it interesting. 

He returned to the bedroom, bowl and spoon at the ready. Albert sat up and looked at him blankly. 

“For someone who thought it would be best to starve my fever out this is excessive. That bowl is big enough to sustain the homeless population in a five block radius for a week.”

“It's my breakfast too. I'll eat what you don't,” Harry said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Albert huffed out a laugh. 

Harry leaned forward, dipping the spoon in and lifting it towards Albert. Albert grimaced and leant back. 

“Harry you're already taking this much too far. I can feed myself.”

Harry stared him down. Albert gave a tired sigh. 

“Okay, whatever.”

As Harry fed him, Albert began to relax. He seemed to realise something. 

“Harry,” he said after a moment. “You would want to be treated like this right?”

“Of course. ‘Treat others how you wish to be treated’.” Perhaps Albert's brain was beginning to overheat, ordinarily he'd be able to figure something like that out himself. 

“Some more maternal wisdom for me there?”

“Yep,” Harry lifted the spoon to Albert's mouth again. 

“Hm,” Albert was thinking far too much on such a simple point. “You do love food an awful lot…” he murmured, apparently to himself. 

“Albert. Don't think about anything. Just eat.”

“I am able to think and eat at the same time,” Albert grumbled. “I know you might struggle with such a task but-”

Harry shoved the spoon in his mouth. 

“Stop talking. You'll get indigestion.”

“You have the worst bedside manner. I'm beginning to feel like a prisoner.”

“Are you saying you want to be handcuffed?” Harry said with a sly smile.

“Okay. Everyone stop talking,” Albert said and Harry laughed. 

Once Albert was unable to eat any more, Harry stood to return to the kitchen. 

“Hey, didn't you say you were going to eat that?”

“I am. Albert, you don't know me at all if you think I can eat _this_ ,” he handed the bowl to Albert. “But of course I'm going to come back and sit with you.”

“I didn't mean-”

Harry kissed his cheek and left the room. He returned with his syrup, unscrewed the lid and glooped an unhealthy amount into the bowl. He took the bowl back from Albert and sat beside him, mixing it in. He hummed around the spoon, approving the taste. He was surprised Albert hadn't made a comment on endangering his arteries. Albert's head rested against his shoulder and Harry could feel the heat through his shirt. He should really take his temperature. 

Once he'd finished eating (which never took long) he moved to get up but Albert slid from his shoulder and Harry held onto him as he blinked awake. 

“Sorry, I didn't realise you'd fallen asleep,” Harry said softy. “I'm just gonna get the thermometer and some aspirin okay?”

Albert grunted. He looked awful. Harry laid him down and pulled the duvet up around him. Harry retrieved what he needed and settled at the side of the bed again, gently lifting Albert's head with a hand at the back of his skull. 

“Here,” he handed him the pills, which Albert took and Harry picked up the glass of water and held it to his lips. 

Albert drank just enough to wash the aspirin down and pushed it away. Harry set it on the bedside table and placed the thermometer in his mouth. Harry frowned at it. 

“C’mon, you need to get out of those clothes. It's not helping you any.”

Albert grunted and Harry worked on his shirt buttons. It was difficult to get it off him with Albert's reluctance to move but Harry managed to undress him completely and wrap him back up. He offered the water once more. 

“You need to stay hydrated.”

Albert reluctantly complied and then feebly protested when Harry returned with a bedsheet and pulled the duvet away from him to replace it. 

“I'm sure you'll tell me sweating out a fever isn't the best remedy. You need to stay cool. It will be more comfortable.”

“Since when did you become the expert?”

“Since I started dating a doctor.”

“ _Dating?_ We're ‘quasi-married’ for crying out loud. I don't think anyone would ever describe our getting together as ‘dating’.”

“I just did,” Harry smiled. 

“Anyone aside from you… I wonder sometimes if that cesspit worked some fairytale black magic on you and froze your mind and soul so that you're perpetually 15.”

“You're saying I might have a curse? If I know anything about fairytales true love's kiss is the cure-all right?”

“I imagine you know a lot about fairytales…”

Harry kissed him, then kissed his forehead too and smoothed down Albert's hair that was sticking up due to the sweat. He turned, retrieved the case from the bedside table and put his glasses on. He turned back. 

“Cured.”

Albert granted him a tired smile. 

“I should check again. To be certain. Because I'm now a responsible adult for sure.”

“Or you want to get closer because you can't see shit with them on.”

“What can I say? I'm more practical now. Two birds one stone.”

“Such wisdom…”

Harry cut the sarcasm with another kiss. He rested his hand against Albert's cheek and studied his face. He looked terrible. The contrast of his flushed cheeks to the unhealthy pallor of the rest of him, the bags under his bloodshot eyes, the sheen of sweat. Harry mopped Albert's forehead with his sleeve. 

“You shouldn’t have been there in the first place…”

“Where?”

“At my work.”

“ _Harry_. It's just a bite. I'm glad I got to experience what your day consists of. Sure, it would've been preferable to get away without injury, but I'll take it.”

Harry frowned, still not eased by Albert's assurances. 

“And maybe it's not so bad… here with you,” Albert conceded.

That _did_ make Harry feel better about it. He kissed him again. 

\-----

Albert grunted when he woke up. 

“How do you feel?”

Albert blinked at him. 

“How long have I been out? I can't have slept the entire day.”

“Only a few hours but the longer you sleep the better right?”

“Shouldn't you be at work?”

“I wouldn't leave you like this Albert.”

Albert rolled his eyes. Sleeping had certainly made him feel a bit better it seemed. 

“It's not as dire as you seem to believe.”

“Isn't it a little better if I'm here?”

“Of course it is but you act like I'm going to drop dead any moment.”

“That's an exaggeration. But if you're feeling better I should give you a check up,” Harry declared, lifting Albert's medical bag onto the bed from where Harry had left it on the floor. 

“Despite how I may look I'm not actually dead. You don't need to conduct an autopsy.”

“A check up Albert,” Harry reiterated, producing a stethoscope from the bag. He put it around his neck and breathed on the metal to warm it before placing it against Albert's chest.

He had begun this as a joke but hearing Albert's heart beating so clear, so strong… the sounds of his body, to hear him _living_ was…

“It's… fascinating…”

Did his heart always beat like this? Was it quicker than usual because of Harry's actions? Or was his poor health affecting it in some way? Making it work harder? Harry would listen again when he was well to compare. He looked at Albert who had a peculiar expression on his face. Harry kissed him and heard his heart thump faster in his ears. 

“Is it getting worse? Making your eyes water like that?”

“Uhh, yeah. That's a… symptom.”

Harry jumped when he started speaking, stethoscope removed from his chest in shock, but pressed back just as quickly. 

“Say something.”

“I _was_ until you interrupted me.”

Harry could _feel_ his voice, the vibrations of it. 

“It _is_ fascinating. That's why I studied it in the first place. The human body is is incredible and intricate, still containing so many mysteries beyond current medical knowledge.”

Harry nodded his agreement. 

“Can you… Can you explain what I'm supposed to listen for?”

“Kiss me first,” Albert said, voice thick. 

Harry did so and Albert removed the metal from his chest. He cleared his throat. Harry reluctantly removed the earpieces. 

“Don't get distracted by listening to me through that. This process is auscultation - the use of a stethoscope to listen to the sounds of the internal organs. Now this,” he held the end of the scope up to Harry and tapped the large flat disk. “Is the diaphragm, which is the side most used but,” he flipped it over, “this is the bell, which is better at detecting lower pitched sounds. You can try that, if you like, to hear the difference.”

Harry followed Albert's instruction, flipping between the two sides to compare what he was hearing. Albert corrected his hold so he used his index and middle finger. He nodded as he listened intently and Albert put a hand in his hair. Harry removed the earpieces again. 

“So what am I hearing? Specifically.”

“You can hear that the heart makes a ‘lub-dub’ noise right? The first part is systolic - the mitral and tricuspid valves closing, and the second is diastolic - the aortic and pulmonic valves. You should count the number of beats in a minute - the adult average is between 60 and 100 for a resting heartbeat. Around 40 - 60 for athletes and the like, so don't worry too much if it's lower than the standard average.”

Harry listened again and counted, imagining the valves opening and closing. Albert timed him with his watch and held up his hand when the minute was up. 

“You're all good there I think.”

“Sounds you need to listen for are any kind of whooshing which may indicate a heart murmur, which is blood moving too fast through the valves. If you hear a third type of beat, more like a low frequency vibration, that could be a ventricular defect. Something else you can listen for now is a bruit, which is similar to a heart murmur, but you can be sure by listening at the carotid artery.” Albert traced his middle and index finger down the front of his throat to show the location. “It will be louder there.”

Harry pressed the diaphragm gently against Albert's throat to listen to his pulse there. 

“What is a bruit?”

“Localised high rate of blood flow. You can listen for it in other arteries, may be some kind of obstruction.” Albert grunted as he sat up. “But now, you can listen to the lungs. There are three sections to listen at, upper chest, midclavicular line and the bottom part of the chest,” Albert pointed these areas out. “These positions should cover all the lobes of the lungs if you listen front and back. It should sound clear. Abnormalities would be a popping or rattling on the inhale - rales, a sound similar to snoring… only heard through the scope - rhonchi, a high pitched, almost musical wheeze… on the inhale - stridor, a more regular wheezing on the exhale and no sound at all is also bad… That could be fluid or inflammation…”

Harry listened intently to each area, taking his time, comparing both lungs. He turned Albert so he could listen to his back. It seemed slower and more even there. Harry frowned. Interesting. After a time he detected a new noise. Like a snore. 

“Albert!” He said, wrenching the stethoscope out of his ears. “There's an abnorm-”

But there it was again. An actual snore. Harry smiled softly to himself. He should have been paying more attention to Albert as a whole. He gently stroked his back. 

“Albert? C’mon lie down.”

“Muh, you... still gotta do the abdomen…”

“I'm sure it's fine. I can listen tomorrow.” 

Harry tucked him in and kissed his forehead, less fevered than before. 

\-----

After a day of continually herding Albert back to bed each time he woke up, Harry joined him under the duvet to sleep himself. He pressed up against Albert's back and wrapped his arm around him. Albert grunted. 

“Harry, you don't have to suffer the unpleasantness of close contact with me - I won't hold it against you.”

“But it doesn't feel so bad for you right? It helps.”

“Yeah but-”

“My job is to make you better.”

Albert didn't say anything to that. Harry had expected a quip about what his actual job was. He really _was_ sick. Albert shuddered under Harry's hand brushing over his chest. Harry wondered if Albert ever had someone care for him this way when he was ill. He trailed kisses across his shoulder. 

“...you should get a promotion…” Albert murmured, words slightly slurred by the combination of tiredness and relaxation. 

“And what would my job title be?” Harry asked, amused. “Surely it can't replace _Sheriff_...”

“Mmhm sheriff…” Albert rolled over to put his face against Harry's neck with the last of his energy. Harry soothed him to sleep with gentle caresses over clammy, fevered skin. 

Harry hoped he would recover soon but he would gladly care for him however long it took. Albert would not be best pleased if it continued much longer, his restlessness and irritability would only get worse, Harry would enjoy his pacified state while he could. 


	3. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [24 November 1997]

Harry found out fast that doctors really did make the worst patients. It might not have been so bad if Albert wasn't continually aware of the amount of work that would be accumulating on his desk. He couldn't keep his surreptitious calls to the office out of Harry's knowledge when he had to explain _for the fifth time_ where to locate a file for the information he needed. Harry pulled the phone cord out of the wall halfway through his tirade and Albert levelled the rest of it at him. Harry had folded his arms and glared at him until he stopped. 

“ _Are you quite finished? At least you'll exhaust yourself so it'll be easier for me to get you back to bed._ ”

Albert had snapped about the importance of his work, as if Harry didn't already know, only to get irritated further when it _did_ make him lightheaded. He wouldn't admit it. Harry left him to it but didn't plug the phone back in. Albert soon discovered that Harry had removed _all_ the phones. He didn't have the energy to confront him about it. If he fell asleep on the couch that was his own decision. 

Despite his stubbornness, Harry's care really did help. His genuine concern over a relatively mild ailment, his gentle touch, the soft manner of his speech - it was an effective remedy. Not a cure but it certainly made the experience more comfortable. He started to let go fractionally and let the feeble helplessness encompass him when he was in Harry's arms. It was contradictory: feeling so awful and yet almost _wanting_ to feel it, the comfort of being cared for was almost worth it. 

After just over a week Albert was able to convince Harry he was fit to work. It took all of Albert's powers of persuasion - he still had swelling to the supratrochlear lymph node, but that could take weeks to subside. He had to agree to call Harry during the day until he started to relax about it. 

\-----

Albert arrived home, passed the dog to Harry and kissed his head. Harry beamed at him. 

“How was your day? How do you feel?”

“Fine on both counts.” Harry glanced at Albert's hand even though the marks were long gone. “Not convinced? Why don't you check yourself Doc?”

Harry brightened at that and Albert smirked. He went to the bedroom, Harry on his heels, removed his jacket and shirt before laying on the bed. Harry put the dog down to retrieve Albert's bag and sat beside him, pulling out the stethoscope. Harry breathed on the diaphragm of the scope and gave a quick check of what he had learned previously on the heart and lungs. 

“What are we doing today?”

“Picking up where we left off,” Albert indicated his abdomen. “Divide it into four sections around the belly button."

Albert made a cross to show the boundaries. Harry pressed the metal against the upper left quadrant. He retracted after a minute to listen to Albert's impending explanation. 

“There should always be sounds whatever area you listen to. The body should be working - silence is never a good sign. Here that may indicate some kind of blockage. You should be hearing normal stomach grumbling type noises that I know you are very familiar with." Harry chuckled. “The rate of the sound is important here: too fast could be anything from internal bleeding to allergies, too slow could be a side effect of drugs in the body or trauma, high pitch may be an obstruction and hyperactivity may be a rupture or necrotic tissue.”

Harry listened again to each section intently before sitting back and nodding his approval of Albert's health. 

“Now, remember checking for a bruit?” Albert gestured to his neck and Harry nodded again. “You can check the other arteries. But you need to help me with this first.” Albert gestured to his belt. 

“I'm not sure this is standard medical practice…” Harry said, unfastening the buckle. 

“You're not a licensed medical professional.”

Harry undressed him completely and looked like he might get distracted by other activities but dutifully sat back and awaited further instruction. 

“Here,” Albert gestured to his abdomen once more but higher and more central this time, “is the abdominal aorta. And here,” he moved his fingers across, “is the renal artery.”

Harry placed the stethoscope as directed and listened, face set in concentration. He moved his hand across as Albert had done and Albert put his hand over Harry's to guide it across to listen on the opposite side. Albert slid their hands lower. 

“Iliac artery,” he murmured and he saw Harry tense at the sound and vibration of his voice. 

He didn't remain there long, moving the scope down further, over his thigh.

“Femoral artery…” 

Harry swallowed. 

“I don't think you're paying attention.”

“I am!” Harry said, indignant, looking up at him sharply. “Femoral artery. And before that iliac, renal and abdomi-”

Albert grabbed Harry's shoulders, pulling himself up to kiss him. 

“I still don't think you understand. I need to show you more clearly…” Albert licked a line up Harry's throat. Harry gripped onto him and gasped. “Carotid artery…”

“Show me. Show me…”

“But I thought you said you knew?”

“I've forgotten. You're very distracting.”

Albert smirked and Harry pulled his sweater off. Albert assisted in removing the rest of his clothes.

“What was this one again?” Harry kissed at Albert's neck. 

“Carotid,” Albert said, hand in Harry's hair, kissing up the opposite side of Harry's throat to before.

“Caro-what?” Harry tipped his head back. 

“Carotid. C-A-R-O-T-I-D,” he repeated, punctuating each letter with a kiss. 

“Hm, okay. I think I have it.”

“Have what?” Albert asked, moving back to the other side. 

“Carotid,” Harry laughed. 

“Correct,” their lips met again as Albert rewarded him. 

Albert pushed him to lie back and licked a line up his abdomen before leaving a more precise trail of kisses. 

“Abdominal aorta…” he moved across, “renal artery,” he added kissing from one side to the other. 

Albert stopped, sat up and waited. Harry opened his eyes and blinked at him. 

“Were you listening?”

“Abdominal aorta, renal artery,” Harry said quickly and Albert rewarded him again. 

Albert moved back and pretended to consider his options. Harry shifted closer to him. 

“Where was I?”

“Femoral artery,” Harry blurted. 

“If you already know do I need to tell you?” Albert teased. 

“Yes! I don't know where it is. Show me where.”

“Femoral artery you say?”

“Yes! Albert!” Harry was growing impatient, Albert fought off a laugh. 

“Right here,” he said, running a hand up Harry's thigh before kissing a line up the inside.

“Ah! Albert! I think- I think there's a problem. You probably should check it.”

“What kind of problem?” Albert asked before giving Harry a series of small nips. 

“I don't know. You're the doctor. _Ah!_ ”

Albert sucked a mark into his skin and Harry's other leg rested over Albert's shoulder. 

“I need to check this one too. Just be be sure…”

Harry nodded frantically and Albert turned his head to kiss at the other thigh. 

“I think…” Albert said, kissing higher, “your problem,” higher still, “might have something to do with this,” he finished as he reached Harry's crotch and licked up his shaft. 

Harry moaned. 

“Can you… help me Doc?”

“Anything for such a model patient. I have the best remedy…”

“You do. I know you do.”

Albert continued his slow, methodical licks as Harry keened and writhed beneath him. He licked at the head to clean him of precome before taking Harry’s cock in his mouth. 

“Ah- Ah- Albert-” Harry stroked at his face with shaking hands. Albert hummed in response before stopping to sit back and look at him. 

He didn't get much of a chance as Harry sat up too, kissing him. 

“The best… the best remedy… Albert…” Harry put a hand to the back of his neck to pull him closer. “Albert…”

He moved down to wrap his lips around Albert's cock. Albert bucked against Harry's hold on his hips as he sucked and Albert groaned as Harry departed much too soon to kiss him again. Harry's arms were wrapped around him, forcing him closer so Albert had to straddle his lap. Harry pushed against him, cocks rubbing together, and he moaned in Albert's ear. Albert's hands dug into his hair and Harry wrapped his hand around them both, jacking them off together. 

Albert moaned into his mouth as they kissed. Harry was trembling, breathless and desperate. 

“ _Albert…_ ”

Albert thrust against him more forcefully and swallowed the sound of his own name as Harry came. He gasped as Harry reactively tightened his grip. Harry graced him with lazy kisses across his face as his hold relaxed once more and he continued his motions. Albert smoothed Harry's hair back, studying his beautifully flushed face before hitting his own climax too. 

They remained like that, basking in the afterglow, Harry's arms around him, Albert's hands making repeated motions through Harry's hair. Albert felt the warmth of Harry's sigh against his skin. 

Albert pushed them apart to clean up and Harry pulled him down as soon as he was finished. Harry kissed at his hand - four times against four invisible marks. 

“It's all better now thanks to your assistance.”

“Glad to be of service,” Harry murmured as he nuzzled against Albert's neck. 

Harry sat back up and moved away from him, returning once more with the stethoscope. 

“Quite the medical enthusiast now hm?”

Harry grinned and placed it at Albert's heart once more, closing his eyes. Albert's fingers wove through Harry's hair as he studied his face. Harry looked at him with a serious expression and placed the metal against Albert's forehead. 

“That's not going to work.”

“Maybe I can hear the cogs turning,” Harry smiled. “Wait. Here's something… You're thinking… That I'm a huge dork but you love me anyway?”

Albert smiled. 

“The biggest dork.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Doctor Harry S. Truman](http://superkamiokande.tumblr.com/post/167566605597/this-is-a-thing-that-happens-in)


End file.
